Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
