You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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