I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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