I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
