Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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