If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
