Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
