I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
