there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
