There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
