she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
