it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
