I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
