North Korea, Best Korea!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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