I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
