she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
