this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
