this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
