he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize