Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
