Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
