it wasn't lemon gatorade
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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