You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I am available for nakedness
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
