The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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