he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had sex on a roof
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
