I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
