A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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