i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
