i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
