No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
