It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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