Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
