It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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