So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
