God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
