I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've blown a few things in my day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
