My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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