we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
