Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
