Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
