she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My ass is underappreciated
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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