Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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