I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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