I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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