I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Acid is not a monday night drug
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
