i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
