Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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