I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
