I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
