I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
